I Couldn't Say No: How I Learned to Set Boundaries

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1. 01I Couldn't Say No

   Hi, everyone. For a long time, I said yes to everything: extra work, favors for friends, every party invitation. I thought I was being kind. Today, I'll explain why that became a problem, and how I learned to say no.

   大家好。很長一段時間裡，我對什麼都說「好」：額外的工作、朋友的請求、每一次聚會邀請。我以為這是善良。今天，我來講講為什麼這後來成了一個問題，以及我是如何學會說「不」的。

2. 02The Problem

   The problem was that I had no time left for myself. I was always tired, and because I accepted too much, I did many things badly instead of a few things well.

   問題在於，我完全沒有留給自己的時間。我總是很累，而且因為答應得太多，很多事情都做得不好，而不是把少數幾件事做好。

3. 03Why I Said Yes

   When I thought about why, I realized I was afraid of disappointing people. I wanted everyone to like me, so saying no felt rude.

   我想了想原因，意識到自己是害怕讓別人失望。我希望每個人都喜歡我，所以覺得說「不」很沒禮貌。

4. 04Step 1: Don't Answer Right Away

   My first step was to stop answering right away. Now, when someone asks me for something, I say, "Let me check and get back to you." That gives me time to think.

   我的第一步是不再馬上回答。現在，有人找我幫忙時，我會說：「我先看一下，再回復你。」這樣我就有時間思考了。

5. 05Step 2: Say No Kindly

   Next, I learned to say no kindly. For example: "Thanks for asking. I can't this week, but I could help for an hour next Tuesday." It's honest, and it still shows that I care.

   接下來，我學會了委婉地拒絕。比如：「謝謝你來找我。這周我不行，不過下週二我可以幫你一個小時。」這樣既誠實，又能表現出我的關心。

6. 06What Changed

   The result surprised me. I had more energy, my work got better, and almost nobody was upset. Most people simply said, "No problem!"

   結果讓我很驚訝。我更有精力了，工作也做得更好了，而且幾乎沒有人不高興。大多數人只是說：「沒問題！」

7. 07Conclusion

   In conclusion, saying no isn't selfish. When you say no to some things, you can say a real yes to what matters most. Thank you.

   總之，說「不」並不自私。當你對一些事情說「不」，你才能對最重要的事情真正說「好」。謝謝大家。